EP.8 Real Talk | Finding Peace in a Not-So-Merry Christmas

This episode acknowledges the emotional challenges that many face during the holiday season, especially for those who are grieving or struggling.

• Acknowledging holiday struggles and loneliness 
• Encouragement for those experiencing grief this season 
• Sneak peek into next episode's goals for the New Year 
• Importance of cultivating self-compassion 
• Creating a routine of small positive actions 
• Developing healthy coping strategies 
• Seeking and accepting support from others 
• Setting micro goals for clarity and progress

Show up friends!
Lauren | The Mostly Mental Mom

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome. Welcome to the Mostly Mental Mom podcast. This is Lauren, your podcast host and your resident Mostly Mental Mom. Thank you so much for tuning in to episode eight of the podcast and Merry Christmas. Yes, I sound a little manly today, you know, good old, head cold but happy to be on here to record a quick little episode for you guys and really just come on here to say one Merry Christmas and thank you for your support thus far in the podcast. But really to just be a voice and be cognizant of those that aren't having such a merry day and haven't been having.

Speaker 1: 0:53

You know, leading up to today has been hard. Whether you're experiencing this is the first holiday season without a loved one you lost someone within the year and you know this is the first holiday season without a loved one. You lost someone without within the year and you know you're this is the first Christmas without them, um. Whether you have to share custody of your children and you don't have them this Christmas, um, or you are just struggling and you have stuff going on in your life and it makes it harder to see the tree and see the gifts and see all the reasons for the seasons and find joy and merriment. You find yourself almost bitter to those that are talking about their family plans and joyful and excited, and I just want you to know that you are seen that this is not mental health specific. This is just. I know that there are people that hurt today, on a day where so many people are just in glee and are happy, and also that's what you see on social media too is just all the happiness, um, and my encouragement to you and I'm saying this even to myself is to just show up today, whatever that looks like. If you're by yourself, maybe it's just resting, it's just literally taking the time to recharge, tuning out the world around you, not looking at your phone, whatever that may be. Um, if you are with family, but you're still, you know, not a hundred percent there, just take little breaks away, um, if you can go sit outside or even go sit in your car and listen to some music for a second, just to allow yourself to breathe and have a moment. But either way, just wanted to let you guys know that I am, of course, here for those that are having a wonderful day today, but for those that it's a harder day, and it's a harder day to just say I'm miserable, like it's hard to say that on Christmas it's freaking in the title Merry Christmas. So people just expect us to be happy automatically. You're not alone. I'm so sorry you're going through something that is affecting you like this. I'm so sorry you're going through something that is affecting you like this and I know you'll get through it.

Speaker 1: 4:08

So that is the first portion of today's episode. It is going to be a quick episode. For real, I know last episode I said I was going to record a 15 minute one. Ended up being 30. For real, I know. Last episode I said I was going to record a 15 minute one ended up being 30.

Speaker 1: 4:21

But, um, with the new year's just coming right on around the corner, um, I wanted to go ahead and talk about what next the next episode will be about. That'll come on Sunday and you all know what looms with a new year Resolutions. Everyone expects for you to have them, you expect yourself to have them and if you're anything like me, you expect to drop all of them within a week. It's just how it goes. So I was looking at what are some goals that could be set for someone like myself that is struggling with their mental health kind of struggling with just life? Um, what are attainable goals that can help me in the middle, in the midst of it all, Because I'm not in a place where I can shoot for the stars? I need to be realistic, I need to keep my head above water. I can't just go um do a triathlon. I have to be able to float first before I go swim that far, and I gotta be able to stand and on my own before I go run. Um gotta take the training wheels off the bike, you know. And so I did find um five goals to set, and so I wanted to. All I wanted to do on this episode was just simply go over what those five were, because then I'm going to share my five for myself of, like, I'm going to actually do this with you on here, um on Sunday, with that episode when it drops.

Speaker 1: 6:21

So, um, the first one is cultivating self-compassion. I've talked about this before, in that my own acceptance of my mental health and the definitions of success and ownership of it all that's crucial, because it's the only thing I can control is me kind of Um. So cultivating self-compassion, um practicing it daily by acknowledging the emotions I'm having, without judgment, and treating myself to the same kindness I would offer to you guys. Um, this pretty much is the goal. There's not really like a defining. I don't need to define something separate, but this would be the first one, and it's important because self-compassion helps us counteract our negative self-talk, it creates a safe mental space and it's critical, whenever we are navigating tough times and uncertainty, to first approach ourselves with care and patience. We can't expect anyone else to do that if we can't do it for ourselves. So goal number one for 2025 is to work on that self-compassion.

Speaker 1: 7:53

The second one is creating a routine of hear this part small positive actions Small, I know, at least in the bipolar world. When mania kicks in, we tend to shoot for the stars and we tend to be like I can do this and it's like you're going from ground level to the top of Mount Everest in 0.2 seconds In your head. Anyway, no, that's not happening. So I'm going to come up with a goal of a daily routine that includes one or two small positive actions each day day, such as taking a walk, journaling, engaging in some creative activity, something that promotes a sense of accomplishment and stability. For me, this is just about a personal thing, this isn't an outside of me, and this is important because whenever we feel uncertain or we're in this middle spot, creating small and manageable routines provide structure and reduce the chaos. They also make us feel like we've made progress, even if we don't know what the next steps are. Something is moving, the needle is moving somewhere. So the second goal is to create a routine of small and positive actions.

Speaker 1: 9:24

The third one is developing healthy coping strategies. I kind of chuckle, because this can definitely be a struggle for me. Identify and implement at least one new healthy coping strategy Deep breathing, guided meditation or creative outlet, something to manage the moments of stress and feeling overwhelmed. By building this toolbox of coping strategies, it'll help feel like empowered to manage those difficult emotions more effectively and more practically. So third goal developing helping, oops, develop healthy coping strategies, sorry y'all.

Speaker 1: 10:12

Number four is seek and accept support. So reach out for support when it's needed, whether it's from a therapist, a trusted friend or an online support group. Commit to seeking guidance or assistance at least once a month. This one will be harder, at least for me, because it's one reason why I'm talking to you guys. Will be harder, at least for me, because it's one reason why I'm talking to you guys. I don't have a hard time going to anyone else and, quite frankly and this is going to be a topic for a podcast episode very soon is when finances are tough. Going to a therapist and doing those kinds of things can be very challenging. So that's like then, what do you do? Um? So this one's going to be hard for me to set because I very much still don't feel like I can trust anyone to talk to. So, but I'm going to do it. I set a goal, um, because support is vital and healing, acknowledging that it's okay to ask for help and accepting support from others can alleviate the isolation, and that's very true. And so I'm going to have to figure out a way to talk to someone. But this is what I'm telling y'all on here is because this is accountability. So the fourth goal is to seek and accept support. I can't talk today, y'all.

Speaker 1: 11:45

The last one is set micro goals for clarity and progress. Micro goals are small, tangible steps to gain clarity or take action on what's next. It might be potential career paths, interests, hobbies, or focusing on one aspect of your life you want to improve. This is helpful because we're uncertain. Things are up in the air, stuff is hard, we can't really see the forest through the trees, and breaking larger decisions into micro goals helps reduce our overwhelmed sense and create a sense of purpose. So small wins will help us build momentum and confidence as we continue to heal. So the last one, the fifth goal set, is micro goals for clarity and progress. So that's what this next episode is going to be Episode nine that'll drop on Sunday. Um, let me see what the date is. It'll drop on Sunday, december 29th.

Speaker 1: 12:50

We will actually go through these and I will share my goals with you guys through these, and I will share my goals with you guys and that is really a big part is to hold me accountable, um, but also just to work through goals in real time whenever things aren't perfect and things are still very hard, um, and my bipolar is not in a great state, um, in a great state, um, and going in the new year with goals that are real and attainable and not, uh, dreamlike, so to speak. So that's going to be the plan and I look forward to working through that with you guys and hopefully bringing some encouragement and some humility, I guess, into setting goals and resolutions for the new year, and I hope that it maybe allows each of us to go into the new year with a little bit more hope, rather than oh dear, here comes January 1. Why even set goals? I'm just going to fail and this year's just going to suck too. That's kind of what I'm trying to avoid. We can do it. We can do hard things right. That's what they say, but jury's still out on that one for me.

Speaker 1: 14:35

But in keeping this short, I really do hope everyone that's having a tough day today that you are just able to show up. If you're able to seek support, seek it. If you're able to distract yourself, do so. If you just need to sleep the day away, then do it. Um, but you're seen and you're not alone, that's for sure, and I look forward to sharing these five goals with you next week, the end of this week, and that's going to be a wrap for today. I wasn't kidding on the short episode. All right, you guys. So this is Lauren, your Mostly Mental Mom, and I appreciate every single one of you for listening and tuning into the podcast. And, like always, I got to give a shout out to Buzzsprout for being the best podcast host on the planet so easy to use and just love it, and Presonos for audio equipment Also excellent. But until next time, have a Merry Christmas and I will talk to you guys this weekend. So this is Lauren signing off.